An update on my health

I posted about my history with weight loss a week ago. This week, I got the results from last weeks glucose tolerance test and on Friday I finally managed to have a phone call with my endocrinologist to discuss the results.

From what I know about insulin resistance, it can be diagnosed via what is called the HOMA index. I calculated mine and it had gone from 4.0 to 1.7 – which made me think I’d gotten rid of the insulin resistance as the cut-off is at 2.5 (<2.5 is normal). My endocrinologist told me that I still had insulin resistance, though, and initially I was crushed. I had lost so much weight, and regardless of how I’d been eating recently, I’d had high hopes that I’d managed to get rid of it. I really wanted to be “normal.”

When we talked on the phone, she explained to me that while my glucose levels are great, my insulin was too high at the 1 hour mark, pointing to insulin resistance. However, she added that because of my PCOS I will probably never be able to achieve a normal result. She told me that maintaining my weight or losing a little more would be the best I can do. For now, there would be no medication, monitoring or tests needed. I also mentioned my plan of moving abroad and asked whether I should make another appointment for before I leave, but she said it wasn’t necessary. She added that I may have to go back on Metformin when I want to become pregnant (whenever that will be) to bring down my insulin levels to normal, but for now I’m okay.

After feeling kind of anxious all week, I instantly felt so much better after the phone call. I was so relieved. It’s hard to explain. On the one hand, I am kind of “in denial” about my PCOS and tell myself that I will not have any problems conceiving because I may very well not, why panic over something that may or may not happen. On the other hand, sometimes it can get overwhelming and make me feel like a failure, and I get so scared that I will not be able to conceive (without medication). I mean, obviously this isn’t anything that is going to be a topic anytime soon, but I will be 30 years old next year and a woman my age does think about these things.

My doctor managed to make me feel like I’d managed to do something really good for my health, though. The PCOS is going to be there, there isn’t anything I can do about that. I managed to take away the risk factor of being overweight (or obese), so this is pretty much as good as it gets.

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