Daydreaming & making plans

With the move still more than five months away, it sometimes seems a bit unreal. I’m planning to move, but nothing has actually happened yet. I haven’t canceled any contracts, sold any furniture, started decluttering – nothing that is tangible. Right now, the move merely exists in my and N.’s head, and it will be a few more weeks until the real preparation starts.

I am perfectly aware that if I changed my mind tomorrow, as inconceivable as that idea is at this point, I would be able to without any problem. I haven’t actually done anything that cannot be undone.

That is why I love when N. and I talk about the future. When we make plans for living together. Whether it is small things such as getting a flat rate subscription for the movie theater or bigger things such as doing some work on the bathroom in the apartment. It may be silly to talk about things like this at this point, but for me it makes it feel so much more real. It makes me really happy and genuinely excited, when we talk about our life together and make plans for when I live in Edinburgh.

I cannot wait for us to have a “normal” relationship. All the everyday things that couples usually take for granted and that we don’t get to share (yet). Waking up together, getting home after work and talking about our days, doing grocery shopping together, eating dinner together, getting to fall asleep next to each other every night, and all the small things in between.

In a way, it also scares me. Going from a long-distance relationship to living together is a big step, a bit of an adventure, but I am really looking forward to it.

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