When being alone is extra sucky

For the past week, I’ve been home sick. Normally I recover fairly quickly, but this throat infection has been a real struggle for me. I can honestly say that I haven’t been this sick in a long time. I spent virtually 90% of this past week in bed, most of the time asleep. Last night was the first night I felt something like normal again. I spent most of the evening on the couch, not in bed, watching TV shows. I felt a lot more energized than I had in days.

Throughout all of this, N. has been pretty much my only contact to the outside world. I haven’t had the energy to be in touch with anyone, sometimes it was even a struggle to talk to N. on Facetime, because all my body wanted was sleep. He’s been a great comfort though, just seeing his face and hearing his voice makes me feel better instantly. I know that it wasn’t easy for him, because he was worried about me, and he wanted to be here for me and he couldn’t. I, too, wish he could have been here, because let’s face it, it sucks when you’re sick but alone. It is even more sucky when you have someone who would love to look after you but distance is keeping them from being able to do that.

This is one of the things that will be so much better when we live together. When one of us is sick, we can look after each other. Although, in a way, I am glad N. wasn’t here for me to get him sick. Been there, done that, and it sucked. The first weekend we spent together I actually got quite sick, passing out at a gig we went to (I know!) and being really sick with a fever and chills and whatnot for the rest of the night. Miracle N. didn’t run away screaming at that point, right? He was actually quite sweet, and went to the doctor with me before catching his flight back home. Unfortunately he got the cold I had a few days later.

I am feeling a lot better now, but for the past week, I missed N. a lot. Wishing he was here, and when we were talking, wishing I would actually have the energy to have a proper conversation. We had what felt like our first normal conversation in days yesterday, and my goodness, it was so nice to just talk and laugh and enjoy each other’s company.

12 sleeps till our next weekend together. I can’t wait.


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