One of the tricky things about planning a big move like this is who to tell and when. I talk openly about it with my friends, although depending on whether or not I have spoken to them in the past few weeks, they may not know about the move at all, they may only know that I am considering it, or they may know that by now my move is pretty definite and only a matter of nailing it down to an exact date.
Work is more complicated. A couple of my coworkers know about my plans, although I am definitely regretting telling one of them. She is a bit of a gossip and while I have no reason to believe that she has ever told anyone personal things I have trusted her with, I realize now that this may have been poor judgment of me to trust her with something as important as this. I have also mentioned something to a couple of others but I kept it more general, saying I am considering maybe moving there at some point next year. I already regret it, though, not because I am worried really, just because I seem to have the horrible habit of blabbing about personal things to people who really have no business knowing about them. I hate lying but I think I do need to start learning how to evade the truth without feeling completely uncomfortable about not being honest.
I do not want to let my supervisor and the higher-ups know until everything is absolute definite. I have to give 4 weeks notice to the 15th or end of the month which is not much. That means if I move at the end of March, I could wait until the first of March to tell them. I am not sure if I really want to wait that long though, and here is why:
I live and work in a very small town where everyone knows everyone else. I have to give three months notice for my apartment lease, which means I have to do that by the end of November or December if I want to move at the end of February or March. There is also a cosmetician in my building and the CEO of my company as well as a couple more of the employees are customers there. I found my apartment because she told my then-future-supervisor that it was available.
Basically, I expect that word of my having canceled my lease will sooner or later get to someone at my company. There are only three ways of handling this, in my opinion:
1) Say nothing and just hope that it won’t get back to anyone at work.
2) Lying to my landlord (and potentially co-workers if they ask) saying that I am moving to the neighboring town. This seems like a bad idea to me. I don’t like being dishonest at all, and I can see this biting me in the ass at some point, especially if I end up in a position where I have to be dishonest to someone at work.
3) Be honest and tell my landlord and the cosmetician about my plans but also ask them to respect my privacy and not mention it to anyone from my company until I have given my notice. Hope that they actually respect my wishes.
I could of course give my notice early, but I want to keep the option open of moving sooner if a job opportunity opens up and once I have given my notice for a specific date, I do not see it going over so well, if I change my mind deciding to leave a month or two earlier after all. Right now, I think my best option would be 3) and give my notice 6–8 weeks before I leave. At that point, it is pretty unlikely that I will have to turn down a job offer because I cannot move for 6–8 weeks. Someone else, who left in the summer for similar reasons, also resigned a few weeks early, so I think it wouldn’t be a problem to do it that way.
Definitely one of the downsides to living in a small town. In a big city this is not something you would ever have to worry about.